Kyon, the Pokegirl Tamer?
by kazikamikaze24
Summary: One-shot for the moment. Kyon, who is busy writing a chapter for a story that has made him popular on the internet, goes to the door to pick up a package sent to him. However, he finds out that sometimes, fantasy and reality just shouldn't mix...


Hello everyone! Now, over the past month or so, I've been trying to get myself inspired to write the next chapters for either of my two stories. On one hand, I had to go through the Pokedex and to the forum in order to light my interest; but, I also needed to continue going through the first season of Panty and Stocking just to get myself focused. However, something unexpected happened from all the research.

New Pokegirl cross overs started to appear in my head!

Now, I know that I've placed a few cross combos on my profile; but, new ones started to appear in my head. This doesn't mean that I'm going to go straight through with these ideas and write more to them right away; however, positive reviews about them might cause inspiration, and I do hope that the readers would take the time to possibly write their own Pokegirl crossover, or even an original Pokegirl story!

As usual, I don't own, well, anything! Lets start things off with a Haruhi Suzumiya/Pokegirl cross, shall we?

-Start!-

Another day, another worthless adventure with Haruhi, and more pain to deal with just to prevent the end of the world.

Could someone remind me why Haruhi picked me to be her whipping boy?

"Come on, come on. I need to write six hundred more words and I will be done with this chapter..."

Not that I mind getting out of the house and meeting random people. It was thanks to Haruhi and her mystery hunts that I found some rather cool businesses to shop at every now and again. Even that one hidden manga shop next to that liquor store was something I would of never found out if it wasn't for the SOS brigade.

"KYON! Someone is waiting at the door for you!" Huh? Someone was at the door for me? I hope it isn't Itsuki. Whenever he comes about, he shows me something I had a hand in, and tries to make me feel bad about it, which ends up making me annoyed if anything.

"Hold on! I need to finish typing something!" A few more words, and DONE! Chapter twenty seven of A Boy and His FarFuck'D is complete! Now its time to see who is at the door for me. There's a low chance it's going to be Mikuru, a high chance it will be Nagato or Itsuki, a moderate chance Haruhi will force her way into my house with a new plan she couldn't wait to tell me, and a very low chance it will be a mysterious thing that I can't explain. Well, here is the moment of truth. "Hello?"

"Hiya Kyon! I was in the neighborhood and decided to drop off your monthly subscription to Shonen Jump!" the elderly man at the door wore a white shirt with a pair of dirty blue jeans. Behind him was the bike that would normally be locked in front of his shop.

"Ah, thanks for the magazine Mr. Sukotto! You really didn't have to do this!" Mr. Sukotto ran the manga shop, which reminded him to go and visit the next time he had a free day away from Haruhi. The old man laughed before reaching into the backpack he had and pulled out a small yet bulky box from it.

"This also came for you today Kyon. I don't know who the sender is; but, the note said to give it to you as soon as possible. I'll see you at the shop Kyon. The misses will get crabby if I don't give her the ingredients for her special ramen soup." Even as Mr. Sukotto left on his bike, my attention was placed on the package in my arms. Considering everything that I've gone through, I guess I should be more concerned about what could be in this thing. I guess I should call Nagato or Itsuki in the morning to check this thing out before I open it.

"Kyon, why are you writing about a man named Noyk and a weird girl on your computer?" But first, I need to get my annoying little sister off my computer before she deletes this chapter, again!

-Time Skip-

I wonder if that package was a prank by someone from Itsuki's agency. He does enjoy trying to stir up some excitement to get Haruhi interested in mysterious events, though these events tend to go out of control or end up being discovered before their climax can arrive. It's unlikely that it was Miss Asahina's older self or Nagato. Yuki is more direct, and Mr. Sukotto would of went on and on about Miss Asahina if that was the case.

"Here is your tea Kyon." Ahh, the warmth that only your tea could provide. How could I ever survive without this before I met you? As usual, Haruhi was late to her club, Nagato was in the corner of the club with an usual book, and Itsuki was setting up a game board to play against Miss Asahina. I think it's called Life or something like that.

"This tea is quite delicious Mikuru. You should run your own shop one day." Mikuru's blushing face was one of the most moe sights anyone could ever see, and to see it with a smile made the sight legendary. Speaking of legendary, Neo-Atmuff or Moan should make an appearance in order to grant Nyok the means to go to Mars Colony in order to continue on their mission.

"Everyone, your brigade chief is here!" Oh great. Haruhi is here with a big bag full of different cosplay outfits for Mikuru to try on. I wonder what she will be forced to wear this time. Wait, why is Haruhi smiling at me like that? "Kyon! Go to the boy's bathroom and change into this outfit!" What the hell? I'm the one that has to dress up!

"Why should I? Why not make Itsuki dress up? He is the higher ranking member in the club." Haruhi's glare nearly made me fall out of my chair. It's not like I want to do everything she tells me to.

"Because, as the lowest member of the SOS brigade, you're to do whatever I say without any room to complain, and I want you to put on this cheap outfit I managed to get! Now GET GOING!" Must I really do this Haruhi? You don't even know my sizes for my clothes do you? At this, she blushed just as dark as Mikuru did, which was a sight to see on Haruhi. "Don't make dish out a triple penalty Kyon!" Alright, alright! Just hand me the bag. Sheesh, you'd think I'd be use to Haruhi being so dam bossy and all that, but dam. It's as if she's reaching a whole new level of threats, seriousness, and overall bitch-a-tude. By the time I got to the boy's bathroom, I already opened the bag and saw a bright red cap with a blue insignia glaring right at me. For some odd reason, it seemed oddly familiar to me. The next thing I pulled out was the jacket that came with the outfit. It was dark blue with a few slots for something above his chest.

"Okay, now this is starting to get creepy. It's as if I've seen this jacket before..." Shaking off the thought, he changed into the outfit and looked at himself. "I look like an idiot in this outfit. Why not something cool, like Akatsuki, Bleach, or even .Hack?" Despite the annoyance at the outfit, it did look normal on him, though it was missing something...

"KYON! Stop stalling and get back in the club room **NOW!**" I'll take as much time as I want to, thank you very much! "Don't make me send in Itsuki Kyon!" Oh shit, she's serious! After taking a bit of time to drink a bit of juice from the vending machine, I walked into the club room, only to meet a loud burst of laughter from Haruhi.

"K-kyon-kun looks nice doesn't he Nagato-san?"

"...Yes." Nagato, you are the master of conversing with people, aren't you? I mean, with how much you talk, the whole world could get a word in and no one would notice that you were talking. Oh wait, you barely talk at all! Ugh, I'm so embarrassed from wearing this outfit. Is this how Mikuru feels when she is wearing one of Haruhi's outfits, let alone when we all stare at her?

_SNAP!_

Huh?

"That is it Itsuki! Take more pictures of Kyon! Hahahahahahaha!" Haruhi, the little respect I had for you is already dwindling down the drain. Could this day get any worse?

**BAM!**

"Augh!" Who the hell knocked me onto the ground? Oh wait, it's my sister holding her book-bag.

"Kyon! You left this at the house!" Wait, tell me she didn't bring the mysterious package did she? "Here you go Kyon! I didn't open it like you told me to! Have fun!" I didn't tell her to open or even mess with this thing last night. Great, now Haruhi is going to want to open this and then the end of the world will be upon us. At least my sister is gone now. Now it is time for operation cling onto this box as if it was my manhood!

"Kyon! I demand you hand over that box and let me open it!" Never! I don't even know whats inside it! "Well if you don't know, open it! Itsuki!" What? No! Get the HELL off me ya dam esper!

"I do apologize; but, I can't disobey our brigade leader Kyon." Yes you can Itsuki! You just are that much of a suck up to not have a free will when it relates to anything Haruhi has a hand in.

"Dammit Kyon! Give it to me!" No!

_RIP!_

"Dammit!" After grabbing the red rectangular item that nearly fell onto the floor, I felt something prick my finger. "Ouch!"

"Wow Kyon, I didn't know you were still into Pokemon. You even have the Pokedex right in your hand don't cha?" Pokemon, Pokedex? What the hell is she talking about? Huh, what do ya know? The rectangular device is a Pokedex. Heh, it is even glowing like the one Nyok owns. "Hey, let me see the Pokedex as well Kyon!" Fine, I'll just flip the screen and show it to ya instead. "Kyon, what's a Pokegirl, and why the hell is there a picture of you and me in it?" What did you just say? There is no way this can't be happening.

Name: Kyon

Age: 18

Residence: New Bark Town

Region: Johto League

Status: Active

Security Clearance: C

License: Tamer

SLC: 50,000

-Harem-

Haruhi: FarFuck'D, level 40

-Items-

Pokeball: 12

P-Meds: 6

Great Ball: 8

Magic Lure: 3

Fruit Lure: 7

"This...This can't be!" This must be some type of sick, twisted joke! Who did this! I bet it was Itsuki who found my Pokegirl stuff online and did this. I'll get you back for this ya dam esper bastard! I swear, I'll make Haruhi delete you if you're the one responsible for this ya-wait. If I have the Pokedex, then who has the Pokeball?

"W-what should I do with this K-kyon-kun?" Mikuru, whatever you do, don't press the-

**"GIVE THAT POKEBALL TO ME MIKURU!"**

"Eep!"**  
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-button. Shit, and now Haruhi, meet Haruhi the FarFuck'D. Now that I see them looking at one another, Pokegirl Haruhi is a bit taller than the real deal, as well as a smidge more muscular.

"Kyon, you cloned me! As cool as this is, how DARE you clone me!" Haruhi-2, as I'll use to call the Pokegirl version of her, widened her eyes and clung onto me.

"Nyok, where are we? Last I remember, we were sailing the ocean towards Paradise?" Haruhi blushed in anger at me, though this familiar act was quickly replaced with a surprising worry as Nagato appeared behind Haruhi and punched her in the back of the head, forcing her into unconsciousness.

"Yuki! Why the hell did you do that!"

"Breed: FarFuck'D. Threat Level: High. Threat Level to Kyon and Haruhi: Very High. Orders: Eliminate the FarFuck'D."

Huh? What the hell is she talking about, and how does she know what a FarFuck'D is?

"Time Freeze, activate."

"Magical Shield!" The room suddenly turned white, leaving a colorless Mikuru and Itsuki while Nagato glared at Haruhi-2 before making a dash for her. The next thing I knew, Haruhi-2 shouted "Teleport" and I was on the roof of the school. "Master Nyok, why did you allow a Zeromer that close to you! You know that the Data Integration Thought Entity is after you due to protecting me from finding the secret of the multi-verse!" Okay, this is seriously one fucked up dream I'm having. It's so fucked up, I didn't even know I was sleeping until this very moment.

"Gradeschooler Toss." Why the hell is Yuki throwing a kid at us? Haruhi-2, don't you dare burn him with that Fire Blast! So instead of burning him, you grab him by the throat and throw him into a nearby tree? Argh! Just end this so I can wake up in the morning!

"Right-O Nyok! Water Floor!" Well, this is interesting. I get to see Nagato dodging bursts of water by either teleporting from them, or simply going through them, which in turn makes her clothes cling onto her body.

...I really need to stop looking through those doujinshi.

"Rocket Punch."

"ThunderBolt!"

"Cross Shield."

"Imitate!"

"Uni Blast."

"Cross Shield!"

"Oh shit!" was the only thing I could say as the attack that could only be described as god-like simply struck Yuki right back with twice the force from what it seemed. Even though something like that would normally kill someone in a matter of seconds, Yuki was the one to do the impossible. However, much to my surprise, she stood with a large chunk of her right arm missing as it slowly grew bone in front of them. With no warning, Haruhi-2 took the Pokedex from me and threw a Great Ball at the distracted alien. For a moment, it seemed as if the Great Ball froze in mid-air; however, the ball seemed to be accelerated and struck Yuki in the face, hard.

"Swing and a hit!" Haruhi-2 shouted as the Great Ball stopped shaking after a minute. After catching the Pokedex she threw at me, I groaned and flipped on the screen to check out the new information about Yuki, the Zeromer/alien? Ugh, I don't know what to call her. Pokedex, do your thing!

Yuki Nagato (HYBRID class G-Splice), the Hacking Mistress Pokegirl

Component: Zeromer, Video Girl Upgrade

Type: Very Near Human

Element: Steel/Electric/Varies

Frequency: Unique

Diet: Human Diet, Electricity

Role: Data flow management and control, combat purposes,Result of [illegal] experiments

Libido: Customizable

Strong Vs: Varies

Weak Vs: Varies

Attacks: Rocket Punch, Iron Punch, Metal Claw, Iron Defense, Nano-Regenerate, Cross Shield, Metal Sound, Repulsor Beam, Uni Blast, Meteor Mash, Disk Toss, Data Transfer (teleport), Data Stream, Upload, Download, Mag Bomb, Luminare, Magnet Flux, All Others Vary

Enhancements: High density (x5), Armored skin, Enhanced digestive system, Light feral, Adaptive bodies, Flight via jets mounted in either back or boots, self-healing, Virtual Form, Wireless Connectivity, Virtual Agelessness, All Others Vary

"Holy shit..." Shit, that's nearly everything from the Zeromer and Video Girl Upgrade breeds. God, she could be WORSE than the Haruhis in terms of destructive capabilities! It makes me glad she is on my side, technically speaking. Still, it made me happy to know that I'm still alive thanks to Haruhi-2.

Then again, it was due to Haruhi-2 appearing that this all happened in the first place. A sudden shiver danced across my spine, which can mean only one thing.

"I need to talk to you right now Kyon."

Dam you to hell Itsuki! Why don't you just go comfort Haruhi you suck up of a-

"Itsuki-kun! I'm so glad to see someone from the Agency here to help us!" Huh? What the hell is she talking about Itsuki! I KNOW you know what she's talking about! And why do I have the sudden urge to punch you even more than usual?

"Now now Haruhi. I need to talk to Nyok for a while okay? Please rest in your Pokeball for the time being, okay?" I'll admit, the way Haruhi-2 listened to Itsuki without any issues pissed me off even more. Hell, the fact that she came over, gave me a passionate kiss before taking the Pokeball and recalled herself didn't even brighten my mood, like it would for Nyok. "Now then Kyon, it's time I reveal to you one of the most classified secrets the Agency holds to its grave."

-Author's Note-

So yea, after a whole long while, this is finally complete? Che, this isn't complete. Not in a LONG shot is this complete! However, as a one-shot, it is, unless someone wishes for me to write this out of course. This, for every sense of the word, was just a little idea of one of the 'What If Pokegirl Crossovers' I have posted on my page. Who knows? Maybe it will inspire one of you readers to make your own Pokegirl crossover?

Back to point, this chapter is basically an introduction to everyone, and a bit of chaos at the two unknown factors. The Pokegirl bit and Yuki's strange mind-set. Yes, I know this chapter might be confusing to understand; but, this is my first time trying to write as Kyon. So, please, cut me a bit of slack. Still, I think I did decently well with this, and I do hope that you, the readers, enjoyed this as much as I have, and review with your opinion of this, or with suggestions for other crosses you might like for me to try.

Ja'ne everyone!


End file.
